TED 3

VULNERABILITY

Is having the sense of love and belonging, vs. those who don't
Is to simply believe they are worthy for it
Sense of COURAGE... to be imperfect
Sense of COMPASSION... to be kind to themselves first
Sense of CONNECTION... to be willing to let go of who they should be and who they were
Because what made you vulnerable, made you beautiful.
saying 'i love you's, having no guarantees, to invest in relationships
We usually NUMB vulnerability by not...
asking for help, laying off, getting laid off, initiating, getting turned down, asking someone out
why we numb vulnerability? because we cannot select emotions to numb
how we numb vulnerability? is to make the uncertain, certain.
thus, we PERFECT things. usually going for high expectations, over love and belonging
and we PRETEND it has no effect. best policy is to be honest, say we're sorry, and we will fix it.
Finally, believe you are enough


QUITTING IS FOR WINNERS

Following an act throughout will magnify a failure because:
All that effort might be for nothing
thesis is misguided
instances where journey to original goal is deviated
circumstances have materially or perversely changed...
Question comes to: when to persevere? when to give up? Quitting done judiciously is for winners!
Stop loss = cut losses early, let profits run
Trends are more common than we imagine
Doubling down is not a good betting strategy
Hard to make unbiased assessments of emotions

6 SHORTCUTS FOR PERSUASION

1- Reciprocity: Obligations to give when you have received
How it was given? must be FIRST to give PERSONALIZED and should be UNEXPECTED
2- Scarcity: People want more of the things that are less
show BENEFITS of having it, its UNIQUENESS, and what they STAND TO LOSE if not taken
3- Authority: People follow credible knowledgeable experts
hang up your DIPLOMA, wear a UNIFORM, must show why you are CREDIBLE (past achievements, appointment, expert introduction)
4- Consistency: Looking or asking for small initial  commitments that can be made
small act leads to bigger act. voluntarily active. public commitments in writing.
5- Liking: we like people who are SIMILAR to us, people who pay us COMPLIMENTS, people who COOPERATE with us. We make friends based on this!
6- Consensus: people look to actions of others to determine  their own, to observe benefits

GRIT

is the PASSION and PERSEVERANCE for long term goals. having the stamina to stick with the future for years, a diligence, a life marathon
To build grit, we should have GROWTH MINDSET: the ability to learn can change with your effort

WHY WE PROCRASTINATE

Limbic (play) vs. Prefrontal Cortex (work)
Amygdala (fear and anxiety)(fight/flight) makes the limbic win
brain sense assignments as threats
what are we afraid of? how to start. fear of failure. displeasure.
Metacognition: wins limbic. it is about thinking about thinking. plan GOALS, plan TIME, plan RESOURCEs, plan the PROCESS, plan for DISTRACTIONS, plan for FAILURE. (to soothe the displeasure)
Don't wait, the time is never right - Napoleon Hill

WHAT IS WORKING MEMORY AND HOW TO USE IT?

it is the STORE, helps us REACH for info, MIX info, and contains our CURRENT GOAL
to process information is to learn. not processing means not learning.
Strategies to use it or to process it:
Practice, think and write
think illustratively and elaborative-ly
organizing ideas
support thinking route